Oh my Japan Family

Japanese men are not considered by the outside world to be as openly loving as in the west. In fact when I talk with many of my students the men who have kids and love them confess that they have never told their children that they love them. Some of them would not even confess that they would tell their spouse that they love them. The closest that they get to I love yoBookCoverImageu is the word だいすき(daisuki) which literally translates to the word I like you a great amount.

What does that say about feelings in Japan is it strange for a foreigner to see this or as I am married to live this. There is a word in Japanese that translates to love it is 愛してる(aishiteru) I love you. But it is very rarely used, this was a constant thought as I considered my romance novel Love. If you have read it you get the story of Robert who is talking about his love and if you have read the companion novel excerpts you will see that his love is Japanese though she was born in the USA she would be considered Japanese American.  What does this topic have to do with anything.

Well in my class one of my students brought about an interesting point about Japanese society, what follows is my students essay.

By Jin Okubo author of Love 

The changes of Japanese Culture

I tried to think of this topic, focusing on two views the “Housing situation” and “Communication among families.”

Most of Japanese typically traditional houses once had some fusuma (paper sliding doors) and shoji (sliding paper screens) as partitions between rooms. When we had big events or ceremonies as wedding parties and funerals we could make two or three rooms into a very large single rather quickly by taking down those partitions.

It was natural for all the members of the family (which had more children than in the modern family, consisting of a few generations under the same roof) had time to spend together in the same rooms.

The majority of the houses had “irori” (like a fireplace without a chimney) and the whole family gathered around it to eat, work and chat. An irori room was, in a manner of speaking, a living room and they always communicated with each other there.  Children studied, enjoyed reading books and playing, watched TV and so on in the rooms where their parents could keep their eyes on them.

In the 1960’s a new life style called “Kaku-kazoku” gradually spread around Japan. It means a small family consisting of parents and children only. In those days, Japan was in a period of high economic growth. Many young people living the local regions went to work in the big cities and made their families there. So their old parents also became Kaku-kazoku. Here and there Japan was on track towards the nuclear family.

Not only the area from within the houses but also the family connection changed. Many people came to think that such a lifestyle was more comfortable than living with many different generations.

Now is the time that young families have their own residence even if their parents own large plots of land and live in big houses.

In addition, with the idea of individualism , our housing situation has gradually changed. The rooms are partitioned by walls, not fusuma and shoji. It’s normal for children to have their own rooms. They can play games, chat and exchange mails with anybody through their own phones, and watch TV. They can do them all without their parents’ interference.

If they shut themselves up in their rooms, they never see their fathers who go to work very  early and come back home very late for  days.

There’s no place like an irori any more. A comfortable kitchen and a sophisticated living room have replaced it.

It’s no exaggeration to say that those changes take opportunities of communicating and understanding each other away from the families.

We see the same conditions in our communities, too. Ceremonies as weddings and funerals tend to be held in ceremonial places. And we often hold our domestic events at the restaurants or we we are also invited to other such places. Of course they are very convenient and easy for us, but I think such ideas also come from the structure of modern houses.

These changes keep us away from opportunities to step into our neighbors houses and associate with them.

In this way I think there’s a big correlation between our lifestyle (including housing situations) and communication.

Book Marketing

I have read a couple of times and have heard people that classic line from Heath Ledger’s Joker and it is older than that but just to make the point. “If you are good at something, don’t do it for free.” And while this is all well and good and we all want to make money for what we do. I as an author would love for you all to buy my book. But I am not linking it here for a specific reason. And why I will not link it to when I give advice as well.

This is a new thought for me and well my older advice posts may have the links to my books but that was before I came to this decision. Marketing advice for authors should not be a pay for advice thing. You ever wonder why there are so many. and I mean many book marketers who offer free advice and advice blogs only to try and sell you on their book.

Sell 1000, a MILLION, ebooks and or books, just buy my book and I will teach you how. I see these people as good as the late night shopping people who want you to buy the easy to make money turn your trash into treasures tools. They are for lack of a better word snake oil salesmen, no don’t get me wrong, not all of them. But enough of them, a recent search that I did while thinking about this post was book marketing and there are over 600k books on the subject.

There are enough that you would think that the best course of action would be to write a marketing book and sell it. And there are books on writing a marketing ebook and selling it. That is just sick and in my opinion wrong. So I will put everything that I learn about marketing and stuff as I go for free here or on my newsletter.

Now that being said, I do not have anything against someone who actually wants to work with you and help to promote your work. That is actual money for services. This is a post aimed at those that claim to help you only to turn around and say sure I will help you, here buy my how to book. That is not help. Stop trying to sell it as help.

To follow or …

There is many reasons why I would follow someone, just as there are many reasons why I would not. But the key point in blogging comes down to sharing posts, sharing ideas, sharing communication and in a way we are all selling something. We all want that little bit of each others time. Well I will take up your time and let you take up mine, and along the way if I am a dick and asshole a pain in the but to you then so be it. But most of the time I try to carry myself in a civil manner.

But that does not mean you can not express your mind and that does not mean that I can not express mine. So let’s talk, give me your two cents and let me give you mine.

Here is a question, What is raw unbridled love?

My precious

Love my novel and the new addition to my collection my windows surface.



Posted from WordPress for Android

Nice surprise


Went to have lunch in a restaurant with my wife and came to this surprise. My book is on display. very very wonderful thing to see. if you like cats check them out in my book section is about my two cats Windows and Linux.
So afterwards I took a picture with the owner. And of course I was very glad to sign it for him.


へランチに行きました。そこに私の絵本がおいてあり驚きました。 店長さんと写真を撮りました。とってもうれしかったです。ありがとうございます。

Sweatshops are good

Many people just say sweatshops are wrong without doing any actual research. Learn something before you talk.


Inspired By OM

I see you there talking

you speak loud so all can hear

yet when it is my turn to speak

you quietly disappear

how dare you ignore me

how dare you shun me

how dare you use the words I write

you do this all in spite

in spite of the friendship that could be built

bury that knife of neglect to the hilt

my heart can take it

but soon enough another will read me, will share me

soon enough another will give me wind and you will see

that while you passed me over and did not share me

I was still able to be free

And at that time I will leave you

I tell you know so you will know

It was not for what I did not read but what you did not show